Communication is NOT the Key to a Successful Relationship
When asking someone what the secret or key to their longevity in a relationship, have you ever heard the “communication is the key?” It’s the most common response, and while communication is certainly important, this answer is so vague. What type of communication, how to communication, and what is successful communication, are just some of the areas this topic can be further explored.
Before you can even get to having good communication, you must first lay a foundation built on trust and understanding. Proverbs 4:7 tells us we are to “invest in understanding.” So, your goal needs to be coming along side your spouse, child, co-worker, parent, and invest time and effort in getting understanding. Begin be stating your intentions. State that you are don’t wake up in the morning to upset them or make them feel bad. You may not always have the right tone, or say things at the right time, but your intent is always for their good. As the same time, they should share this with you. Once this is established, trust can be formed that your motives are pure.
Our listeners have past experiences, traumas, pains, and wins that can misconstrue the intent of what you share. While you cannot control the filters that people receive your message, you can control the content of your message and its delivery. It is important that you saturate your words in love and care. Ephesians 4:29 tells us that our words should minister grace. Let that sink in for a moment!
For the first few years of our marriage, we often hit walls when talking. I might would make a comment about dinner. One specific example is, Jennifer often work just plain solid shirts. I mentioned this and she heard, “Terrell doesn’t think I’m pretty, I’m a bad wife.” For several days, she was quiet, distant, and reserved. We had to build trust. I had to explain that I wasn’t coming down on her, and she had to know that, I love her unconditionally, just as Christ loves the church. Once she received this truth, she opened up so much in her interactions with me.
In all your various relationship roles, take the effort to invest in understanding before communicating, and you’ll see so many other areas of those relationships blossom and come into a greater level. You can hear much more on this and the other two points by listening to podcast on this subject below.
Thank you so much, and may your home be your haven.
-Terrell and Jen
