Your’e Not Listening! How to Improve Communication in Your Marriage

Ever catch yourself saying, “You’re not listening!” or “That’s just how I communicate”? If so, you’re not alone. Communication struggles are super common in relationships, but the good news is, they don’t have to stay that way. In this post, we’re breaking down simple, practical ways to bridge those communication gaps and find more harmony in your marriage.

What’s Your Communication Style?

We all have a go-to style when it comes to communication. Some are direct, others more laid back, and some might even avoid tough conversations altogether. But here’s the thing: sticking to one style doesn’t work in every situation. It’s about knowing when to flex and adapt to your partner’s needs.

Tip: Think of communication as an ongoing conversation, not a one-size-fits-all approach.

Flexibility Matters

If you and your spouse have different communication styles, it can definitely feel like you’re talking past each other sometimes. One of you might be more assertive, while the other shuts down. The key here? Flexibility.

How to Flex:

• Pay attention to how your spouse communicates.
• Adjust your tone and approach based on the situation.
• Remember that it’s okay to step out of your default communication mode!

Pray, Reflect, Grow

For Christian couples, prayer is a huge help in navigating communication challenges. Before jumping into a tricky convo, take a moment to pray for patience and clarity. Afterward, reflect on how the conversation went and how you can both improve.

Ask Yourself:

• Was I really listening?
• Did I communicate clearly?
• How can I make the next conversation better?

Listening Beyond the Words

Sometimes it’s not about what’s said but what’s really being communicated. Arguments about things like dishes or chores usually have deeper roots. Often, it’s about feeling unheard or underappreciated. The real goal? Listening beyond the surface to understand what your spouse truly needs.

Pro Tip: When your partner says, “You never listen,” think about the bigger picture. They’re probably expressing feelings of being unheard in other areas too.

The Three-Step Plan: Pray, Plan, Pursue

We’ve found this simple approach works wonders:

1. Pray: Ask God for guidance before tough conversations.
2. Plan: Think ahead about how you’ll approach the talk.
3. Pursue: Keep working on communication every day—it takes practice, but it’s worth it.

Wrap-Up

Communication in marriage takes work, but with prayer, patience, and a little flexibility, you can make it happen. It’s not about winning arguments—it’s about understanding each other better. So next time you feel like you’re stuck, take a breath, listen, and try a new approach. You’ve got this!